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If Your Spouse Tells You They Do Not Love You Anymore --- How To Avoid A Divorce
Has your spouse said they do not love you any longer?
Matt could scarcely speak. His emotions were definitely choking him up. He said he felt like someone had both hands pushing against his neck. He could scarcely breathe in the air.
Matt just got off the telephone with his wife Lorie. She provided the crushing information that she did not love him any longer and failed to understand the point in moving forward their 10 year marriage.
After Matt left to go to work, Lorie gathered the 2 children and headed off to stay with her mother, who lived two hundred miles away. How could he avoid a divorce?
Matt realized that Lorie had not been happy with their marriage; however, he never imagined that she'd actually abandon him. Was it too late to prevent a divorce?
She suggested regularly that his attempts to change were normally short lived and shallow; nothing he did made her happy.
And then to amplify Matt's uncertainty, all of his pals told him that Lorie was a typical female, someone who might never be honestly content, a hungry abyss that could never fill itself.
Consequently, he never connected with just what the real issue was. He never spent the time to learn what was going wrong. Like many of us, he selected denial over reality that resulted in sacrificing the most significant element that he ever encountered.
Many individuals, once their spouse actually leaves or tells them they don't love them any more, undertake four detrimental things.
The trouble is, these four points not only make things worse, but many times drive the other partner even further away and closer to the final dissolution of the marriage.
Here are the four things that Matt thankfully avoided carrying out once Lorie left:
1) Pleading with Lorie to come home
2) Declaring that he'll change
3) Calling her frequently
4) Causing her to feel guilty for ripping up the family unit
It was essential for Matt to refrain from the temptation to fall into these, and several other typical defenses immediately after Lorie left.
Because he wanted to preserve his marriage, and avoid a divorce, he understood he needed to steer clear of making the situation worse. Exactly what he had to do was to validate her sentiments and be cautious about driving her any further away.
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